JOY JOY JOY

I am a different kind of individual. If you've spent any time with me at all you would know this and are laughing at that understated statement. I tend to have a hundred thoughts a minute which results in the most random thoughts ever, I have an over active imagination which results in me visiting la la land, and I generally have a smile on my face.
Is it fake?? Hmm... maybe sometimes but not usually. Do I ALWAYS have a smile on my face? HA- no way! Have I always had a smile on my face? NO!

I was a fairly happy kid- there was no reason for me not to be! I was blessed with two amazing parents who loved me and the Lord! Deep down I knew something was with missing but I couldn’t put my hand on it!! I finally discovered what I was missing- Jesus!! Jesus rescued me and came into my heart when I was 9. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I was transformed overnight but that would be a lie! God used different experiences to reveal himself to me and to mold me into the person I am today! I wanted to write this tonight to share with you the experience I had with joy.

When I was in Jr. High I was still a happy kid on the outside! I mastered the art of genuinely looking fake smile very quickly. I never showed my mother my unhappiness or anyone else for that matter! It wasn’t uncommon for me to cry myself to sleep every night. If the tears wouldn’t wait for everyone to go to bed I would go into the bathroom turn the fan on, grab a towel, sit in the shower and use the towel to muffle my sobs. I didn’t cry just because I wanted to, I cried because I was in pain! Not physically pain but emotional!
My personality is cute and adorable for the first few days but I guess after that it crosses over to the annoying side! That what I was told in Jr. High and part of high school! I had a hard time keeping friends for more than two weeks because they would tell me they were getting annoyed with me! I think it goes without saying but just in case you didn’t catch on- that hurt... ALOT! Now, these people weren’t horrible people and I don’t want you thinking that! I tried my very best to mold myself into this SUPER friend! I wanted to please everybody! I wanted to be loved!

During these years I didn’t have a very solid relationship with God. I knew I was saved but I wasn’t trying to get to know Him better! It was one night in the 9th grade when things started to turn around for me! I couldn’t sleep because the day had been bad! I remember just picking up my Bible and just started to read. I read the story of Job and came across this verse

JOB 33:26 He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God's face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state.

The verse stuck out to me but the main part I focused on was he saw God’s face and shouted for joy! This concept of joy caught my attention and I looked up the word joy in the back of my Bible and here are some of the verses I found!
Psalms 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.
Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
Psalm 9:2 I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Psalm 16:9+11 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

I read those and others over and over again throughout the next few weeks! God began to show me two things
1. I was trying to find my joy/acceptance in earthly friendships.
2. He showed me that it is in Him that I receive joy! He died on the cross for me! HE, the Creator of the universe, the conqueror of many nations, A KING loves me!

I still struggle with having Joy in my life! I have days where it is no problem and I have others where I find myself in my room crying again! Spending time with Christ is a must for me to keep the joy in me! Praying for Joy is something else I have to do to keep joy in my life! Sometimes it’s only once a day others its hourly! Another way I keep reminding myself of the joy and happiness that I have found in Christ is by counting and praising Him for my numerous blessings! My joy comes from the Lord! He alone can sustain me!
I’ll leave you with the lyrics to that song Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings, name them one by one,And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one,Count your blessings, see what God hath done!Count your blessings, name them one by one,*Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.[*And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.]

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,And you will keep singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;Count your many blessings—wealth can never buyYour reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,Do not be discouraged, God is over all;Count your many blessings, angels will attend,Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
:)